The news of terminal or chronic illness can be devastating to family and friends. At the time of diagnosis every family feels alone. They may not know of anyone else who has this illness. They are often numb and disbelieving as Peggy was when she found out her 56yr-yr old sister had Celiac Disease. Sue, whose mother was ill, felt “a sick hollow feeling in her stomach when she finally realized that her mother was dying of cancer.

Family members and friends may suddenly find themselves thrust into the role of care givers-providing for the physical and emotional needs of the family member that has become ill. They may have to prepare special diets, nourishing meals, supervise medications, arrange transportation back and forth to the Dr, write letters, entertain people that visit, Often times these tasks have to be crammed into an already busy schedule. As the patient’s condition deteriorates the work of Care giving becomes even more demanding. Washing and feeding, emptying urine bags, cleaning up vomit, changing diapers, taking temperature and vitals every hour.

The quality of the care that your family receives will depend to a large extent on the ones providing the care. Yet the feelings and needs of those who look after the sick are often overlooked. If Care giving merely was a result of sore backs and strained shoulders that would be difficult enough But, as most care givers will confirm. Care giving carries a high emotional cost.

It is one of the most difficult things to cope with says Sue. Caring for your loved one can be a very frightening experience. Wondering if you will have the strength or ability to meet your families needs is a tremendous challenge.

Grief is a normal experience when caring for your loved ones. You may grieve for the way things used to be. You may grieve knowing that you are losing your soul mate or your best friend. You are very sad at this moment and may wonder why did this have to happen to me and why other family member are not doing more to help. This may cause you to be filled with anger. Then comes Guilt on the heels of anger. All these different emotions may drain you to the point that you feel you cannot go on. Even tho you may be doing all you can you still feel that perhaps you have neglected other responsibilities that need the same amount of attention.

Obviously there is a desperate need for support especially after the death of your loved one. Unspoken feelings could be damaging to both care giver and patient. What then can you do to cope with these feelings? And what can others -family members and friends -do to help. I will share this with you in my next article. Visit us on the web at http://www.seniorhomecareusa.com